It is something that any good child must have as an acquired principle: when the day comes when it is necessary, we must take care of our parents as well as they took care of us. Help them maintain the dignity they deserve, with the best possible quality of life in their final years, just as they helped us grow and prepared us for this world. Returning that hug on a feverish night, the story told to help you fall asleep or even the hours spent in waiting rooms at hospitals and health centers, if necessary.
Taking care of our parents as they took care of us (at least for those who were lucky enough to have parents who deserve to be taken care of) is today an increasingly present concern in the daily lives of most Portuguese people. It is one of the greatest dramas of today’s aging society where there is a lack of social responses that guarantee our seniors the dignity they deserve in the final years of their lives.
In a country that is among the oldest in the world, with an average life expectancy of around 81.5 years, but below the OECD average in the number of years of healthy life after 65 (only 8.4 on average), we know that the majority of Portuguese families are faced with a scenario in which old age arrives accompanied by illness for one of their parents or grandparents. And anyone who goes through this also knows that finding adequate answers is a path made of closed doors, endless waiting lists and unaffordable costs for middle-income families.
Available places in homes are rare and expensive, in most cases well above what our parents’ pensions can support, the social response has waiting lists that sometimes extend beyond the remaining life span, home support is limited and insufficient… and our elderly are often left to loneliness or the abuse of illegal and often degrading solutions.
Despite efforts to strengthen the Integrated Continuing Care Network, the reality remains raw and sad for most of our “older people” (the expression of our brothers here next door is much happier).
The weight often falls on exhausted families, informal caregivers who are often also elderly and a persistent feeling of guilt for not being able to do more and better. A guilt that eats away at our soul with every memory of a childhood lap.
Taking care of our parents should not be an act of heroism or a privilege for those who can afford it. It is a shared responsibility that we should assume as a collective priority. Because the way we treat our elderly says a lot about the country we are and, of course, about the country in which we too will one day grow old.