The mother explained that her daughter recently started dating a new boyfriend, someone she has only seen a few times with her friend group. When the teen asked if he could visit, the mother agreed but set one rule: they could watch TV in the living room, not her bedroom.
The daughter pushed back, calling the rule “weird & crazy” and suggested she would leave the bedroom door open. However, the room only has a bed, no other seating, making the mother uncomfortable with the idea. She wondered aloud: Was she being overprotective or simply reasonable?
In a late edit, she clarified that her concern wasn’t about stopping sex entirely but about what felt appropriate for a new boyfriend she hadn’t met yet. “Maybe I’m out of touch,” she wrote, “but hanging out on a bed with someone new just didn’t seem normal.”
AIO? Told my 16yo daughter if her new boyfriend came over they could stay in the living room not her bedroom…
by inAmIOverreacting
Online reactions: A mix of agreement, warnings, and personal stories
The comment section quickly filled with thoughtful, emotional, and sometimes painful reflections.“If they want to have sex they’re going to do it somewhere,” one user, ReflectionLess5230, argued, saying that restricting the bedroom wouldn’t prevent anything long-term. And instead of policing seating arrangements, parents should focus on teaching boundaries, protection, and consent.
The importance of teaching true consent
Commenters like TigerLilyKitty101 emphasized that many teens don’t fully understand coercion. They warned that being “convinced” into sex isn’t consensual, an insight echoed by others who shared personal stories of regretted experiences.
One commenter, AnnieAnnieSheltoe, noted that she didn’t grasp this until her 40s, only later recognizing how many situations from her youth were the result of pressure, not real consent. Her comment sparked additional replies sharing scars from similar experiences.
‘Bad things can happen anywhere’
Several users argued that proximity to parents doesn’t guarantee safety. One commenter revealed: “I was raped by an ex at 15 in my house.”
Another pointed out that assaults can happen “in the back seat of the car while parents sit in the front.”
These perspectives challenged the assumption that restricting bedroom access equals protection.
‘But being at home can still make teens safer’
Others felt the opposite — that allowing teens to hang out privately in their own home may be safer than leaving them to meet elsewhere. If something feels wrong, they argued, the teen is at least near trusted adults.
As wormravioli put it, “If my daughter was in my home with a boy pressuring her, I’d want her to feel she can call for me.”
Cultural differences in parenting norms
Some commenters noted that in parts of Europe, it’s normal for teens to host partners in their rooms with the understanding that open communication and sex education start early. One user said their approach resulted in “wonderful, grown kids who never ended up pregnant.”