Offer descriptions of what you saw and how you felt, rather than judgements
"When you started to shout I felt anxious"
"It was a bad idea to raise your voice"

Focus on behaviour than can be changed
"Do you know that you drum on the table a lot with your knuckles"
"You have a severe nervous twitch in your right eye"

Choose the aspects which are most important, and limit yourself to these
Keep the messages simple and set priorities. Don't plaster the wall with everything you can think of.

Ask questions rather than make statements
Allow the receiver to reach his/her own conclusions
"How else might you have reacted when ...?"
"You should have..."
Some of the above examples could be rephrased
"How did s/he react when you started to shout?"

Set the ground rules in advance
Especially in a training event, let the receiver know that there will be no report back, and that they are free to experiment and make mistakes.

Comment on things that an individual did well, as well as areas where they might improve
The receiver must be empowered by the process. Feelings of inadequacy or incompetence can lead to humiliation. We have cultural inhibitions about accepting praise, so it is important that the praise is both sincere and supported by specific examples.

Be specific, give concrete examples, don't waffle
"I liked it when you asked Jane to expand on her idea"
"There was a very friendly atmosphere"

Observe everyone's personal limits
Too much feedback can overload people. Going beyond that point wipes out all the good you may have done so far.

Before starting, consider the potential value to the receiver
If there isn't any, shut up.

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Teaching and Learning

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Updated 24 April 1998
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